Tails from the road with Mouse
On Friday I got to go on my first weekend get away. I truly needed to get away from these golden boys. They drive me crazy they are so stupid.
I heard Mother lamenting about how maybe she should take me with her as the place they was staying accepted dogs. There wasn’t a prayer she would take one of the boys so I knew my time had come. I sat at the front door with my most pathetic face and in a few moments I was whisked into the car and on my way! See ya suckers !
When she told Father it was a B & B, I was beside myself because that meant I could bark and bark all day. Turns out I was grossly misinformed… More on that later..
So we get to the border and this fool sticks his head in the car and says “Does this fella have his papers with him?
FELLA?????? I am wearing a pink collar !!!
If Mother would stop insisting on shaving me like I’m enlisting this wouldn’t happen. BOL!
Then we started driving through lots of farm land and I got to sit on Fathers lap and stick my head out the window. I know I am not supposed to do this as it is bad for my eyes, but it was only for a few minutes and it was soooo much fun!!
Once we arrived in Stowe we checked into our room. Room? As in just one? This was kinda small for me. But I didn’t worry too much as Mother said you don’t spend a lot of time in the room. Phew.
But then I saw my bed moving from the car to the floor and I knew I was in trouble. They left me here while they went to the main Inn for a few minutes. So I did what I thought I was supposed to do. Duh! Barked & Barked some more…and don’t you know they came right back.
We went for a lovely walk and then we started to get ready for dinner. I was pretty much ready when we arrived. This was most exciting for me as it was a real restaurant where you can order any thing you want to eat and they bring it to you in a fancy plate. This sounded too good to be true, I must be dreaming again. But in my dream my two golden brothers would be hiding somewhere to jump out and steal my meal.
So we arrived and there were no other dogs and people stared at me and said I was cute and we had a wonderful table outside in the sun and I was on Mother’s lap and she ordered steak, and Father ordered pork and it was coming with french fries and I was soo excited I was gonna pee!
HOWEVER , when THEIR meals arrived , Mother put me down on the ground like a dog, and some dopey kid dropped a steel bowl next to me filled with tap water. Huh? If that wasn’t degrading enough, Mother threw down some bread out of a basket. WTB?? Where’s the beef???
And to make my night complete, in prances this tall blonde named Lance and everyone is oohing and ahhing over him. A golden doodle? Pleeze. That’s what I call my brothers when they pee in the house. Just sayin’.
Well I don’t have to tell you my nose was out of joint. Not one person was looking at me any more.
So I did what I do best and started to tell him to get lost. But I found out this still was not the B & B time I was waiting for. And Father told me I was leaving and going to have to wait in the car… so I shut up ….but I would not eat bread and water. That was just wrong.
We got up the next day and walked around the acres of land we were staying on. There was a pool but it said NO DOGS and while I do hate the water and am not much of a swimmer, I did not think this applied to someone as small and cute as me. But apparently it did so we took my towel and went elsewhere to read.
And then the strangest thing happened. This little speck appeared before me and stared right in my face. I put my paw on it and it squeaked! Mother jumped up and yelled at me to stop. It was a baby mouse. A baby MOUSE? This is my namesake? A freakin rodent?
I looked like this when you found me? .. because of my ears? I don’t think so…BOL
So we sat very still, not my choice, and don’t you know he came right back again and again eating grass right beside me. Mother kept taking pictures like I was doing something incredibly cute when all I really wanted to do was squish the bugger. So I did what I do best. This must be the time for B & B…but nope it sure wasn’t.
I guess she must have been really pissed cuz we went back to the room, ugh, and they left me there with cereal and went out for their fancy feast.
So I curled up on the big chair and went to sleep.
It was exhausting …all this fresh air …and this mouse business was kinda confusing.
On Sunday we drove home and of course the two idiots came bounding outside to smell me out to see where I had been for two days.
I told them they missed all kinds of B & B, the best swimming ever , and restaurants where they allow dogs to eat anything they want. I told them I was named after the most beautiful creature which lives only in luxury resort towns in Vermont . They couldn’t believe they had missed out.. and sulked all afternoon. Losers.
Next month I get to go to Clarance NY where my cousins live. I visit them every year and boss them around like crazy and tell them all kinds of lies that they totally believe. Wait till THEY hear about B & B’s .
Footnote: “B & B” I now figured out meant Boring and Blah. There were no toys to play with, (Mother forgot of course) no brothers to annoy, and only 12 channels on TV. I do enjoy Animal Planet before bed time but it was not meant to be.